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I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinking
Therefore
Drink
Funny
Beer
Alcohol
Clever
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
