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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Never
Spilt
Poisoned
Milk
Cry
May
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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I like children - fried.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
