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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
May
Never
Spilt
Poisoned
Milk
Cry
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
