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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Never
Spilt
Poisoned
Milk
Cry
May
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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