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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
May
Never
Spilt
Poisoned
Milk
Cry
More quotes by W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
