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I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Must
Breakfast
Drink
Comedy

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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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