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I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Breakfast
Drink
Comedy
Must

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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Never work with animals or children.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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