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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Always
Drink
Alcoholics
Humor
Snakes
Cases
Supply
Funny
Beer
Inspirational
Alcohol
Stimulant
Keep
Brilliant
Stimulants
Also
Drinking
Handy
Book
Case
Snake
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
