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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Keep
Brilliant
Stimulants
Also
Drinking
Handy
Book
Case
Snake
Always
Drink
Alcoholics
Humor
Snakes
Cases
Supply
Funny
Beer
Inspirational
Alcohol
Stimulant
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
