Quote

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Book
Case
Snake
Always
Drink
Alcoholics
Humor
Snakes
Cases
Supply
Funny
Beer
Inspirational
Alcohol
Stimulant
Keep
Brilliant
Stimulants
Also
Drinking
Handy

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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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