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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cases
Another
Best
Bartender
Thing
Whisky
Scotch
Whiskey
Nerves
Case
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
