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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Dangerous
Comedy
Alive
Getting
Place
Men
Nonsense
World
Danger
Lucky

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields