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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Alive
Getting
Place
Men
Nonsense
World
Danger
Lucky
Dangerous
Comedy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
