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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Saloon
Saloons
Drinking
Live
Life
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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