Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Saloon
Saloons
Drinking
Live
Life
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
