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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Prison
State
Occupied
Expert
Father
Applied
Science
Chair
States
Electricity
Chairs
Experts

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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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I like children - fried.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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