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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
State
Occupied
Father
Expert
Science
Applied
States
Chair
Electricity
Chairs
Experts
Prison
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
