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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Experts
Prison
State
Occupied
Father
Expert
Science
Applied
States
Chair
Electricity
Chairs
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
