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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Experts
Prison
State
Occupied
Father
Expert
Science
Applied
States
Chair
Electricity
Chairs
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
