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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Afraid
Drink
Water
Become
Alcoholism
Never
Forming
Beer
Alcohol
Habit

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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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