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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Actor
Seen
Acting
Actors
Lousy
Show
Actress
Shows
Actresses
Great
Devil
Husband
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
