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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Actor
Seen
Acting
Actors
Lousy
Show
Actress
Shows
Actresses
Great
Devil
Husband

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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