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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Morality
Allow
Wrong
Funny
Keep
Money
Scams
Sucker
Morally
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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I drink therefore I am.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
