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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Morally
Morality
Allow
Wrong
Funny
Keep
Money
Scams
Sucker

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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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I like children - fried.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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