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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Animals
Animal
Anyone
Hate
Children
Hates
Witty
More quotes by W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
