Quote

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Exactly
Sex
Funny
Better
Badness
Nothing
Sameness
Things
Goodness
Like
Worse

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
Image
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Image
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
Image
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
Image
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
Image
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Image
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Image
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
Image
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
Image
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
Image
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Image
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
Image
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields