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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Keeps
Horse
Crazy
Funny
Equestrian
Sense
Betting
Thing
Pet
People
Silly
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
