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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Witty
Spent
Comedy
Year
Years
Think
Thinking
Philadelphia
Sunday
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
