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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Death
Everything
Disgrace
Life
Including
Duty
Becomes
Comedy
Hope
Lost
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
