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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Death
Everything
Disgrace
Life
Including
Duty
Becomes
Comedy
Hope
Lost
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
