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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Everything
Disgrace
Life
Including
Duty
Becomes
Comedy
Hope
Lost
Death
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
