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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Woman
Outdoors
Night
Camping
Nature
Yard
Stills
Yards
Still
Marry
Survive
Throw
Cold
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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