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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Ever
Popcorn
Would
Laziness
Men
Lazy
Mets
Humor
Comedy
Turn
Laziest
Turns
Pancakes

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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