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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Humor
Comedy
Turn
Laziest
Turns
Pancakes
Ever
Popcorn
Would
Laziness
Men
Lazy
Mets
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
