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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheese
Holes
Clever
Cat
Baited
Breath
Breathes
Breaths
Cheesy
Breathe
Eats
Rats

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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