Quote

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheese
Holes
Clever
Cat
Baited
Breath
Breathes
Breaths
Cheesy
Breathe
Eats
Rats

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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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