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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Rats
Cheese
Holes
Clever
Cat
Baited
Breath
Breathes
Breaths
Cheesy
Breathe
Eats

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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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