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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Like
Ems
Marriage
Wouldn
Comedy
Funny
Women
Look
Looks
Elephants

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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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