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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Marriage
Wouldn
Comedy
Funny
Women
Look
Looks
Elephants
Like
Ems
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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I like children - fried.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
