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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Live
Swim
Life
Fish
Fishes
Downstream
Innovation
Upstream
Dead
Swimmer
Risk
Float
Takes
Floats
Remember
Swimming

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields