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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Live
Swim
Life
Fish
Fishes
Downstream
Innovation
Upstream
Dead
Swimmer
Risk
Float
Takes
Floats
Remember
Swimming

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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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