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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Remember
Swimming
Live
Swim
Life
Fish
Fishes
Downstream
Innovation
Upstream
Dead
Swimmer
Risk
Float
Takes
Floats

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I like children - fried.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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