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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Rich
Poor
Funny
Money
Sarcastic
Nothing
Cynical
Men
Riches
Poverty
Wealth
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
