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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Lasts
Last
Live
Heart
Long
Worry
More quotes by W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
