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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Lasts
Last
Live
Heart
Long
Worry

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
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You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields