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I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fried
Witty
Humorous
Funny
Children
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More quotes by W. C. Fields

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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields