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I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Children
Like
Fried
Witty
Humorous

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
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I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
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You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
W. C. Fields
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields