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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fried
Witty
Humorous
Funny
Children
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More quotes by W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
