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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Nothing
Alcohol
Abstinence
Cooking
Cocktails
Drinking
Prohibition
Drink
Alcoholics
Food
Liquor
Days
Drank
Water
Forced
Live
Beer
More quotes by W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
