Quote

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Comedy
House
Around
Littles
Patter
Little
Butler
Nothing
Midget
Like
Butlers
Feet

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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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