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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
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Butlers
Feet
Comedy
House
Around
Littles
Patter
Little
Butler
Nothing
Midget
More quotes by W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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Never work with animals or children.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
