Quote

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
House
Around
Littles
Patter
Little
Butler
Nothing
Midget
Like
Butlers
Feet
Comedy

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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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