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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Clever
Scotch
Always
Drinking
Drunkenness
Carry
Snake
Case
Whiskey
Whisk
Smart
Snakes
Bourbon
Drink
Drank
Furthermore
Cases
Witty
Whisky
Small
Alcohol
Drinkers
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
