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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Worry
Home
Never
Driven
Drink
Comedy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
