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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drink
Comedy
Worry
Home
Never
Driven

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Never work with animals or children.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I drink therefore I am.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields